I should share a page of my diary with you today that I wrote a few days ago, on July 9th. It was my last day as an employee and the end of a sixteen-year era of working at the same company. Why am I sharing it? It may give you an insight into how one feels when they eventually get to what they have always wanted to do or dreamt of. The last paragraph of what I wrote in my diary may motivate you. So here goes… 

So it begins

I went to the office today to drop off my laptop. I was very emotional, and I cried quite a bit as I left the building. It was a bittersweet ending.

So, today is the last day at work, and the life I have wanted begins. However, I feel a little lost now despite knowing what to do. I have this urge to go and check my work laptop.

When the day begins tomorrow, I am unsure how I will feel when I don’t have to open the work laptop. It’s almost like a sense of loss that I have right now. I also feel that “I am on my own” now. 

I am not scared, but I am uncertain about my future. At the same time, I know that I will be able to put it all off. There’s this sense of rush that I must create a video right now; otherwise, I will be at a loss. I guess I will get used to the new routine.

I need to keep moving forward and have a purpose. Otherwise, I will waste this time that I have borrowed for myself from me and my family.

So, I guess the purpose of sharing a page of my diary was to make myself realise that it’s okay to feel lost and let the emotions play out, but one should not lose sight of one’s goals by moving forward. I hope what I say helps if you are in a similar situation. Maybe you are overwhelmed by something new that you have started… and I can assure you that “it’s ok to be nervous. You are unique, and there’s no one like you; you bring to people around you your unique set of qualities that no one can replicate… so take your time, don’t be afraid of walking slowly, only be afraid of standing still”. Maybe I should write that down in my diary too! 

Kind regards

Muji